Slow down…. it’s fast food.

It’s a fact of life we like things that are bad for us. Multiple bottles of wine. High heels that hurt. Colin Firth movies where we know he’ll never be ours but we yearn anyway. (They’re the worst. Colin is my dream boy).

And fast food. It’s a bad dietary choice but you’re in that food court and……..

The daily

….. there it is. Calling you from behind the Golden Arches or Colonel Sander’s Emporium of incredible tasting chicken. Yes there’s sushi and some form of salad bar. But the big queues are at Maccas and KFC. Future visions of blocked arteries and an increasing girth flash before your eyes. Then you join that line for a cheeseburger because let’s face it, that’s what you want. Otherwise you’ll end up perched at a table with a California roll; suffering from chronic food envy for fifteen solid minutes every time someone walks past with chips.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Chips.

I’m a tad infamous for my fast food habit. Donuts are my sweet poison of choice. For a food court lunch I head for chicken nuggets and chips like a moth to a flame. “6 chicken McNuggets, medium Diet Coke and fries please”.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Fries.

Would you like fries with that????

I read the other day about a young lady who had only eaten chicken nuggets from the age of two to seventeen. I was filled with a moment of extreme optimism. But no. To see her dietary fate……

Stacey Irvine, 17, collapses.

Poor Stacey wasn’t at all well, but after being patched up she’s back on the nuggets again. Girlie, I get the appeal but for the love of God eat something green. Even I’m not that nutritionally reckless. I’ve also read several times about a woman who is nearly one hundred and eats Maccas every day. She’s like a Disney character only non fictional. The princess who ate crap and lived forever. There’s hope yet.

In the end it seems to be about balance and the luck of inherited metabolism. By now I should probably have a big butt and a touch of diabetes. So far so good, but I’m avoiding getting my cholesterol tested because I think that’s when I’ll be having my Stacey Irvine moment. The beginning of a semi fast food retirement. Time to hang up the Happy Meals and head to the sushi joint and salad bar.

‘Would you like quinoa with that?’ just doesn’t have the same comforting ring to it. Growing up can be so disappointing whatever age you are. Another vice gone as the ravages of time take over. I’m not done yet, but like a heavy smoker I fear the moment to cut back is fast approaching. I found myself glancing at the Healthy Options section of a menu the other day and felt a mixture of self pride and dismay. (Still ordered the six nugget combo though. A momentary glitch).

The chips and donuts may get cut back as the years go on. But I’m never giving up on Colin Firth. Hope springs eternal. ❤

Stacey Irvine, 17 collapses. UK Daily Mail.

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